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Thursday, September 27, 2007

i waited for this holiday for 6 months.
3 months through fyp and then attachment.
which were both, really not that bad.
i made new friends and learnt pointless new things.
and at one point of time, i really thought i finally partially got over, if not fully, the fact that i got dumped from a 2year rship.

but hey, things change.
attachment was great, the ppl in the company werent but some other ppl around me made my days so much easier to get by.
i'll get to see him after work, then have dinner or shopping with qianli and sometimes shuann and amos. and also the morning show on class 95, rocked my mornings.
maybe it had to happen cause our companies were just down to road. we got close. and then i never got over the breakup at all.

and so, things changed. again.
something happened and wishful thinking bubble popped.
wow. ive had ppl tell me my life is dramatic.
i wanted my life to be interesting in the past. but this is too much la. hahah. interesting, not dramatic dear god.

now i have to find a way to go through the same thing as 6 months ago. 2007 just proved to be the worst year ive had for the pass 19 yrs of my life. give it some credit, 1/4 of the year was actually quite good.
and this holiday that ive waited forever for, had gone from the best first 2 weeks, to the worst holiday ever.

i need a vacation.
if only i could go to boston to study as well.
all the way to the other side of the world as far away as possible.

what we could have been, 02:16.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"ya. its all well and good to talk about happy endings but if a person cant deliver, if he keeps screwing up, eventually, you'll have to say fuck you...
or words to that effect."

what we could have been, 22:50.
Saturday, September 22, 2007

ive had the worst year in my life.
i think i remember saying my life was bad back in 2003/2004.
well, if that was bad, i think im in hell right now.
i guess getting picked on by teachers and having to wake up at 6am every morning, can never beat getting your heart broken twice within a year.

it really Does hurt.
that's how "heartbreak" came about huh? haha.

nothing lasts forever.
not even a lifetime.
promises are made and broken so often that they've lost all possible valuable meaning.

i went out with my parents today and my head kept feeling like it was about to explode everytime i move from sitting position to standing or vice versa. or, have cold air blowing at me. dad says i have low iron / not enough blood. hah. that probably explains why i almost fainted after only 3 rounds of running. what fun. pff.

cleo has this column bout cosmetic surgery and it made me think.
i want lipo, permanant hair removals and something to make my skin baby soft all over. that, isnt really cosmetic surgery. hah.
and, i love my height btw. i have reasons to laugh at young short girls with short legs and flat chests that somehow get to steal all the guys. fuck.

blogging, reading cleo, watching america's sweetheart while drinking red wine. ohh, few more cups and then i guess life aint that bad afterall when youre high (:

extremely random entry from a rather random and high on alc person. hahah

your lost for choosing such a mediocre girl compared to the ever exciting me. haha.
she can never do what ive given or done for you.

What about your
Your ten thousand promises
That you gave to me
Your ten thousand promises
That you promised me.
Once we were lovers
Just lovers we were
Oh, you and I
What a lie

what we could have been, 22:04.
Friday, September 21, 2007

What would you do if your boyfriend dumped you?

You are pessimistic. If your boyfriend said goodbye to you, you would collapse and get desperate. It is possible that you may even harm yourself.

Are you still thinking about your ex?

Your ex clearly broke your heart and you haven't yet moved on. Remember that time heals all sorrows, so look positively towards the future. Don't be blinded to the love that might be surrounding you right now.

Your Handwriting
The closer you place your words together, the more afraid you are of being left alone. Loneliness is your one great fear.


wow, that IS freakishly in a way, true. ppl have to go take tests from this website.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/


anyway,
i had a really good time with nic yesterday.
thank you. i love nic too.
we went to have lunch with alwyn at marche then went to see DAUGHTRY showcase at stjames.
havent met alwyn in ages. since at MOS. haha. he lost so much weight.
had rosti with a really long chicken cheese sausage that cheated our money but helped make a really interesting conversation about males and females.


i think this is the nicest picture. and nic, your face, IS NOT ROUND -.-

DAUGHTRY.

chris daughtry

the base guy and guitarist. cute ppl. but nic says only from far. they dont look good on the official website. haha. =/
guy with mohog came onto the stage the first time, and i was like, EH! chris daughtry grew hair?! lol. anyway, chris' voice is awesome. i think the cds dont do justice to his voice.

-edit-
i just came back from running after an entire week of not running. 3 rounds only, and i almost fainted. i dont know why, everything went white. exactly like how it felt when i got cramps but i just didnt have any just now...

what we could have been, 21:09.

this will be a long post cause i took all the personality tests and this one turns out to be really quite accurate in a way.

Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


what's your personality love style?
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.


How you control your husband, who will lead the family and who will be led?
You will never expect to control your boyfriend or husband. Your boyfriend and you will take turns to make decision and the decision is often acceptable to both of you. Whatever you want to let him know, you can just tell him straightforwardly. This is a good relationship, a pretty modern one.


How well do you react?
Although you are emotional, you have full control of behavior. Being patient is your unique quality.

what we could have been, 01:19.
Thursday, September 20, 2007

i cant believe how happy and fucking high i was last night but it aint happening now cause i brought this all upon myself.

anyway, i passed the interview today. $6/hour and i start on monday, suddenly i dont feel so much like going for work anymore. im not exactly a fan of bosses who have too high expectations for employees. he really sounded like he expected me to sell something everytime a customer walks in =/

and i hate twits.
by right twits are those who type lYk dAtzz, according to nicole. but she calls ppl who calls everyone, regardless or sex or the rships b/w each other, darling ; twits. so im following that definition.
that word is saved for close friends, girlfriends or lovers.
not just anyone or everyone.

please dont make promises you cant keep.
promises that raises hope and hurt/disappoint when broken.

glad that, at the very least, even if i had to lose someone, i'll still have nic and qianli to talk to. the person i want wouldnt be here, but they'll do just fine.
http://nicole0611.livejournal.com/76909.html

what we could have been, 00:24.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007

i am happy (:
i am finally happy. after almost 2 entire weeks of disaster.
ive finally found happiness.
results just came out today and i got B for both! (:
12 credits each and now my gpa is upupUP!

rh came over for movies too.
plus, some guy from Prints called me back for job interview.
so i may have 1 more month to earn extra bucks.

today is my luckiest, best day since 2 wednesdays ago.
eeeeyayyy :]

what we could have been, 00:40.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007

i want to be 2 years old.
innocent and not a worry in the world.

what we could have been, 01:44.
Saturday, September 15, 2007

星期六晚上
哪都不想去
也无法入睡
看着电视机
持续在发呆
喝了七分醉
闭上了眼睛
试着不想你
但已来不及
忘了如何
让眼泪停止流下
还好没人看到
没人会说话

星期六深夜
我想起了你
没什么特别
只是回忆
你让我自由
我很感激
星期六深夜
永远不会有任何人
能代替你

这就是遗憾的滋味
陪着我形影不离
明天我会面带微笑
但无法忘记你

what we could have been, 23:49.

i miss primary / secondary school excursions and those bus ride self entertainments.
i miss getting super high on alcohol with qianli.
i miss all the time i had during attachment. cause it was infact, ironically, the best times ive had all year(other than the first 2 months of 2007.) irregardless of all the nonsence i had to put up with at the office, i still had ppl i loved accompany me all day and help me get through each day. and after office hours were always fun.
nothing lasts forever. everyone knows that, but i just keep taking things for granted and regretting after.
i cant regret this time round cause i didnt do anything wrong.
i miss you.

i had german beer with my parents.
all i need was 1 more jug to get high so i can fucking sleep, my tear ducts are gonna dry out if i dont. but it was after 8 and every jug's a lot more expensive. but it was good beer. even better than heinekin (spell?)
brewerks definitely has the most eye candies. ang moh customers and v few staff.
and raffles city sushi teh is loads better than paragon's. ventilation and better looking waiters.

what we could have been, 23:22.
Friday, September 14, 2007

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away.
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.

ikea food. glorious food.
nic and i stuffed our faces full of ohh, delicious meatballs, nuggets, chicken wings and potato salad. then hotdogs! and i drank a lot of water.
went from tampines ikea to giant opp. and skipped courts. haha.
we were in the neighbourhood cause of the v wasted trip to some factory place for mcd interview we didnt even go for in the end.

cityhall after that and we sat at ya kun for teh.
they have really funny pictures hanging on their wall
and we learnt that his real name is Loi Ah Koon. haha.

what we could have been, 22:01.

i still hate kids
and i hate the guy who wrote 'the poet' as well now, cause, cause of him, my poor friend has to summarize the entire 33 papagraphs of it into a 300 word essay. and im trying v hard to help her. too chim alr la. literature stuff.

but talking to her makes me feel better (:
halfway round the world and 12hours apart.
):

anyway, there was a blackout earlier on.
when my parents were sleeping alr.
so shocked. and im, uh, kinda afraid of the dark.
i sleep with my table light on lah
i found lighters, none of them could light properly, then i finally remembered, HANDPHONE. so handy.
bro flicked the switch in the electrical box n lights came on.
i wanted to call someone. dint tho :/

what we could have been, 05:22.
Thursday, September 13, 2007

i hate kids.
i know i used to say i love kids. but as in babies or infants.
and i especially hate secondary school kids at the moment.
i know we all go through sec sch. and i hate myself a lot of times but not like that.

i didnt fucking do anything to anyone.
and one fine day i get an msn msg scolding me w vulgarities from a stupid 13yr old who added me damn long ago but we nv conversed before.
for all i know he could possibly be a she or a v old loser. but the email says 1994, so im sticking to a 13yr old.

besides that, they all think they are super smart asses.
and i can hardly remember myself or my friends acting like that.
okay, maybe some.
but i have strong reliable sources that tells me our batch have been in fact, very well behaved compared to those now. and i can see why.

im depressed, tired, and incredibly lack of sleep.
or some reason, i cannot get to slp at night till almost 6 in the morning.
so im pmsing.
(its an excuse.)
i hate act smartass sec school kids.
for other reasons as well if u know what i mean.

ive always been nice. most of the time. i cant even bring myself to bother my best mates with my own problems but i get cold shoulders and temper thrown at me whenever anyone's upset. why's that? someone explain to me why my life suddenly seems so meaningless. and quite worthless.

i havent felt so depressed and insecure in a long time.
my future's like this total blur.

and i really wonder how growing up in a christian family is like. extremely different from right now thats for sure. or is it just the matter of which church u go to?

what we could have been, 23:16.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007

i recieved the dress qianli sent to me today (:
i love it. plus, now i have something to wear for buffets!
thank you qianli...

what we could have been, 19:02.
Thursday, September 06, 2007

i feel so bad bout this afternoon!
i overslept and missed the surprise conference call shuann and i were planning since like, last week.
dont know how i slept till 5plus pm without waking up at all!
must've had a damn good dream i cant seem to remember =/

anyway, monday was gathering day.
met wendy and terence tan cause it was teachers day last friday.
it was also baby claire's, uh, second birthday if im not wrong? =X
and the 2nd daughter's actually the cuter baby.
pastacafe lunch treat. been ages since i last ate there.

walked around a bit and went to the library w wendy after i spent 40 over dollars within 10mins!! hah. and i only bought 2 things.
the whole place just inspired me to start reading some books again.
and at 7pm, i met up with the remaining 4e5 group of ppl at amk hub for dinner. ohhhmygaaawwd. the number of ppl, were kind of pathetic.

but i had a great time (:
and apparently, larry lied to shumin and said he had army stuff. lol
that silly girl believed him!
prata and quote daryl, the best teh in singapore, after fish&co dinner! okay, teh for ppl who had fish and prata for those who didnt.

i caught Evan Almighty with rh on tuesday (:
and i finally got my pay cheque on that day!
they dragged it for almost 1 and a 1/2 month! =.=
ohya, and i bought this for him :D

actually, its just something like this one.
i forgot to take a picture of it! haha. but its really cute.
finally found something so similar. so now i dont have to hunt for all the different materials to sew it together. haha.

happy birthday qianli.
ppl over this half of the world misses you a lot.

what we could have been, 04:45.
Sunday, September 02, 2007

i wanna watch this movie!
enchanted

went down to SIM uni's open house today.
i think my parents want me to go take business related things.
have yet to read the booklets i took home.
such a relief i didnt get all the nonsense nagging from them today
cause they'd normally do that in situations like this

dover mrt (i could almost imagine what nic had to go through taking v crowded trains to school in the morning. haha) to town and had din tai fung lunch.
i kept looking at the seat where i sat with qianli the last time we went there for lunch. haha. gossiping bout the horrible manners of one of the waitresses (she wasnt there today. maybe someone else complained)

met up with wendy for awhile to get uncle terence's teachers day present. haha. he has TWO daughters alr! i couldnt even remember when the 2nd one was borned. was in may apparently. and the first daughter got the nicer name. shhhh =X

anyway, i went to meet my parents after she left.
and my mom bought me VS ceramic straightener! haha
i can finally straighten stubborn bad hair days away.
and i also think its fucking expensive to me.
i dont know how long the promo will be there, but if youre in town and having a bad hair day, just head down to john little, you'll get to sample the product and a girl will be there to curl or straighten your hair! :D

I FORGOT TO BUY SPORTS BRA! the very thing i really needed and was planning to get. damn it. how to go jogging like that ): yes. this jogging thing, is gonna be a long term thing. even if the blister at the back of my left foot gets deeper.

ohya, i was sitting in centerpoint/robinsons and the store just started playing A1's entire CD! memories of secondary school with peili. hahah.

cant wait for monday.
OHSHIT. monday evening got gathering.
means i gotta go running in the morning?! ):

:)

what we could have been, 03:00.

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JOANNE
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into my world
Strong addictions

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